Jonathan Swift … on Politicks

Swift

The wily Shafts of State, those Juggler’s Tricks
Which we call deep Design and Politicks
(As in a Theatre the Ignorant Fry,
Because the Cords escape their Eye
Wonder to see the Motions fly)
Methinks, when you expose the Scene,
Down the ill-organ’d Engines fall;
Off fly the Vizards and discover all,
How plain I see thro’ the Deceit!
How shallow! and how gross the Cheat!. . .
Look where the Pulley’s ty’d above!
Great God! (said I) what have I seen!
On what poor Engines move
The Thoughts of Monarchs, and Design of States!
What pretty Motives rule their Fates!
How the mouse makes the mighty mountains shake!
Away the frighten’d Peasants fly,
Scar’d at th’ unheard-of Prodigy,
Expect some gigantic son of Earth;
Lo, it appears!
See, how they tremble! How they quake!
Out starts the little beast, and mocks their idle fears.

from Jonathan Swift‘s Ode to the Honourable Sir William Temple (Section VII)
written at Moor-Park, June 1689

Jonathan Swift (1667-1745) was Secretary to Sir William Temple (statesman, diplomat and author: 1628-1699) at Moor Park 1689-94 and 1696-99. Dr Swift was a cleric, later famed as an political pamphleteer, satirist and Dean of St Patrick’s Cathedral, Dublin). His best known work is Gulliver’s Travels - see Wikipedia synopsis .

Amanda Vanstone

Senator Amanda Vanstone

Amanda Vanstone, an Australian Liberal Party Senator for South Australia for the past 22 years, including 11 years as a Minister, today announced her retirement.

Samples of her wit:

When Natasha Stott Despoja’s profile loomed as an issue for the then Democrats leader Cheryl Kernot, Vanstone famously quipped that there was only room for one blonde in the Democrats. The remark appalled Stott Despoja, who argued that Vanstone, as one of the few women in politics, should be the last to ridicule other women on the basis of their appearance. Recalls Vanstone:  “I went back into the Senate and said to Natasha, ‘Look, I’ve been attacked by the appearance police for years and you know there is nothing wrong with being blonde – otherwise you wouldn’t have dyed your hair that colour.’”

~

When a political opponent taunted her about the size of her behind, she shot back: “Better big in the backside than bullshit for brains.”

Her aspirations – from her maiden speech on 27 March 1985:

“I point out some of the aspirations that I have for this nation. I want to see a nation whose governments build individualism and oppose collectivism; who reward enterprise and not apathy; and who encourage the pursuit of excellence and spurn mediocrity. I want to see this nation with a taxation system that is fair to all; with meaningful job opportunities especially for young Australians; where our ageing citizens can feel secure; and with an education system that encourages individuals to realise their full potential. I want a nation where industry can operate without the excessive burden of governments on its back; with an industrial system based on equity rather than misplaced industrial muscle; and with a government that cares more for individual Australians than for its own re-election.Mr Deputy President, this is but a sketch of the aspirations that I have for this nation. Perhaps I can sum it up this way: I want all Australians to be able to cast off the burdens that tie us down with shortsighted mentality. I want young Australians, industrialists, workers, entrepreneurs, the aged-indeed all Australians-to lift their eyes confidently beyond today’s horizon and into the future before us.”